Your name is Linda. You are Bad Driver #87. This is your life:
See Linda. Linda is 25 years old. She is wearing her hair down today. She is going to work.
See Linda behind the wheel of her green 2002 Honda Accord. This is I-40, between Edgewood and Albuquerque. It is the morning rush hour. Traffic is thick and fast. Linda will tell you she is a good driver and that she can handle this. In fact, she’s texting you that message right now.
Watch now as Linda’s Accord drifts slowly to the left. Watch as the white Ford van in the middle lane skids when the driver slams on his breaks to avoid smashing into Linda. He honks. Linda looks up. Thank goodness she’s a good driver; she was just able to avoid a disaster!
If you see Linda on the road, please do not panic. Slow down, merge to the right and exit the Interstate as soon as possible.
The preceding story was completely fictional. But if you’re angry because you think I’m writing about you, please put your cell phone away when you’re driving.