Yesterday, I spent all day on the phone, trying to get through to the right people. I spent hours dialing, hours on hold, but no one would speak to me. I tried the Luxor, Bellagio, Mirage, Caesar’s, the Sahara… even Hooters. And I got nowhere with anyone.
So, I’m starting a public campaign. It’s high time that this country celebrates one our greatest national treasures with a big-time old-fashioned Las Vegas review. It’s high time we have a show for Barbie.
You know, she’s 51 today. For all of those years, she’s worked tirelessly to entertain American children. To be a good role model and spokeswoman. She’s gone from airline stewardess to astronaut and candidate for President. Her detractors say she has a plastic personality. They criticize her early work. They call her “doll.”
I say they’re wrong. I say let’s give her a show. With original songs. A hundred dancers, men and women, in beautiful costumes. Magicians! Jugglers and acrobats flying through the air overhead. Lights, lights, lights! And Ostriches! If I’m wrong, say so. But if you’re with me, let me know here or on Facebook.