Almost everyone loves to spend money on expensive, hand-crafted artisanal foods. And the ones who don’t are not terribly important to me because they’re in the way of my great financial success. Because, dear friends, #97 on the list of the hundred best business idea’s I’ve had so far is: Jack Russell Terrier Butter! Yes, now you can be the first on the block to by a crock of the butter churned by nature’s most fun-loving, butter churn.
We’ll be using custom design saddlebags that have loops to hold, eight sterilized bottles filled with sweet cream from a cow or goat. Ten, or a dozen, Jack Russells wearing saddle bags, will be released all at the same time to chase a mechanical rabbit around a 1/8th mile track. At top speed, only 15 minutes is needed to complete the process. All of the base butter is then placed in a sterilized sack and sealed inside. The sack has a soft, but very strong fiber covering. The sack and the Jack Russells are then brought together in a cold room for two hours. The temperature is kept at 55° F, so the terriers gather together on top of the sack to keep warm. As they move around, they help knead the buttery underneath to a fluffy, light consistency. Then, the butter is removed by hand-built experimental Butter Removing Robots and sealed into the beautiful JRT Brand Butter Crocks. Crocks sell for $39.00 for a quarter pound (1 normal stick), plus shipping and handling.
Many people have stopped me on the streets of Loganville, asking if I come up with these ideas or if I saw them on an infomercial. At least three people have asked me for directions. I’m not sure if any of these questions have answers, because I’m not really paying attention when people are talking to me. Instead, I’m dreaming of a creamy, buttery topping to put on my morning waffle. “Forty dollars for a stick of butter”, I say to myself as I spread some butter onto the waffle. “Someone could get rich off that idea.”